Stuffed to the guilts!

Well, a party we held yesterday really put me off my game. Tim made his famously yummy pizza and I made lowfat chicken chili and a big salad. I tried both, but I did have a few pieces of Tim's' pizza. I was full! Now I'm also full of guilt.

I didn't eat much again until I got hungry later in the day, and then I had another couple pieces of pizza and popcorn. The kids said the popcorn didn't have enough butter, but I felt greasy and unhealthy. I think this is where Amy's (Skinny Chick No. 2) comments about eating without guilt, but then getting on track comes in. I have to get back on track. But I feel terribly guilty. I am noting how those feelings make me feel much more prone to throwing in the towel and saying, "oh well, I'll start again on Monday." But I'm trying not to have that attitude. Instead, I had an orange this morning and one big ol' pancake without syrup. I'm full again, but I'm not too full. I'm not eating anything else until I am hungry. I'm going to take my dog for a walk, ride my horse and get outside!

I'm discovering that I really hate feeling guilty. It's not the feeling that resides in the front of my consciousness. It's really more of an undertone that colors the whole day. I'm more snappish and negative as a whole. I think what I have to do learn to do is really think about what I want. I love Tim's pizza, and if I want a couple pieces, I have to sit and eat them consciously, not have anything else (that's just adding calories), and enjoy them. Feel satisfied from having one or two (note: Tim cuts his pizza in 2" squares, so it's not like they are 8" slices).