New inspiration

After two months of trying to eat right, I had a tough week last week. Lots of emotional ups and downs appear to really affect my commitment to healing my body. I could tell that Tracie, my nutritionist, was worried about me. My feelings were quickly confirmed on Friday afternoon (yesterday) when I met with her at her office. While on my way to our weekly appointment, I was fighting to keep the tears from starting. After a really tough week, Tim and I had just found out that a business deal we are working on will be delayed at least another two weeks while one party deliberates further. When Tracie called to confirm, I was munching on a Snickers candy bar with a trusty Diet Pepsi by my side! Tracie was sympathetic and admitted that she was worried that I would give up since I hadn't had dramatic weight loss. You know how it goes, a little hug in a time of crisis can sometimes nearly cause you to let down your guard and your emotions can spill over the dam you've so carefully constructed to keep going. "Don't be nice!" I said when I got to the office and she stooped to hug me. I just couldn't afford to let myself cry because then the negative emotions really come in and take over.

Fortunately, Dodie, Tracie's mentor and collaborator in California called, and it quickly became apparent what was going on with me.

I explained my weight history: I had never been overweight as a child and didn't really start developing until I was about 16. Scrawny and self-conscious until then, I started to fill out a bit, but didn't really put on significant weight (or bust size) until I was 18 and in college and starting birth control. I gained a bit of weight then as well—but stayed on birth control and about 160 pounds throughout that time, occasionally dipping down to weigh about 140 (my best weight). I didn't put on weight again until I was about 34 and stopped birth control -- I also had my first bout of depression and really lost energy. At about the same time, it became clear that my thyroid was developing a goiter—becoming enlarged. I was still able to take the weight off and get back down near my usual weight of 160 again until I hit my 40s. Since then, I've never managed to get to a happy weight. My thyroid illness was finally diagnosed at 42 as Hashimoto's Disease, a disease in which your immune system destroys your thyroid. I've never been medicated for it.

"That's great," said Dodie, because medicine for thyroid disease kills the thyroid and puts you on synthetic thyroid medicine. She points out that much of my weight gain is due to hormonal activity: development when I was 16, birth control when I was 18, thyroid illness when I was in my mid 30s and then menopause now. Hmmm.

Dodie, who has a peaceful, caring voice that isn't at all sticky sweet, said that when my thyroid is low, a new hormone cortisol takes over the thyroid's job, and cortisol is catabolic—it tears down the body. So you develop more wrinkles, more stress. You also show more effects of stress such as irritability and weight gain in the stomach. So now I'm going to have to visit a doctor to see if I can get a prescription for a healthy thyroid medicine.

At any rate, Dodie said that it might take me months to heal my body from its thyroid issues, but I will lose weight. First, though, I'll gain energy, quit being depressed and look healthier. The weight will drop once my body heals and recovers enough to start dropping weight naturally.

Initially I was depressed because because weight loss will be so hard, but then I became enthusiastic because it means that I can still heal my body. Dodie, who is about 70, said she started much later than I did and it took about two years to heal her body. Tracie, who is in her late 20s, healed in about two months. It all depends on what has happened. Dodie became quite ill and while I'm rarely ill, I am having lots of negative effects from my thyroid problems: weight loss resistance, lack of energy, occasional depression and insomnia.

By eating more "whole" foods, such as organic meats, bone broth, vegetables, fruit, rice as well as saturated fats (butter and coconut oil) and olive oil, I will heal my system so that it can start releasing weight. I can lose weight by seriously limiting my diet, but my insomina, irritability, tiredness and aging will progress much more quickly. I'm not sure I'm willing to go that route.

How will I do this? First, I'm going to start taking my temperature and pulse every day. Your temperature and pulse rate are indicators of what your metabolism is doing and low metabolism often means low thyroid. So I'll watch and see how the eating plan affects my thyroid by monitoring my temperature. Today, at 10:30 a.m., my temperature is 97.7, a bit lower than normal which is 98.6. My pulse is about 80, which I think is a bit fast, but I 'm not that good at taking pulses.

Second, I'm going to write down how I'm feeling when I eat, what I'm craving and what I eat so that Tracie and Dodie can begin to tell what's going on with me. I should add fats if I'm having a lot of craving and low blood sugar--which is apparent when you crave sugary foods. Yesterday I was craving a candy bar.

Third, I'm going to do a better job of eating fewer PUFAS (vegetable oils) which go rancid in the body. It's best to eat more natural fats like butter, olive oil and coconut oil. It sounds counterproductive, but Dodie and Tracie both swear that it works. I'm going to try it because I've not eaten butter for years and I still gain weight.