Last night was such a rockin' success. It was Tim's birthday and our family tradition is to dine out casually on family birthdays. Tim's kids really wanted to go to the Nitty Gritty while Tim and I were hoping for Japanese sushi. He finally sided with the kids and we had a great time. I was determined to either split something with a child or eat a salad. I had a plan firmly in mind before we left, and . . . Success!
The Nitty has some really great salads, including the Vegetable Salad that includes only great veggies, 1/2 a hard-boiled egg and diced chicken, if you want it. I did. I had low-fat French dressing and a little blue cheese on the side. It was fabulous. Tim ordered deep fried cheese curds for an appetizer, so I countered with the veggie plate with ranch dressing. Once the kids were done with cheese curds, they even tried some of the veggies and were happy to have them. And, the bonus, is that the kids didn't eat all their fries because they filled up on veggies.
Other options I could have tried at the Nitty were two different kinds of veggie burgers (the Ragen and the Bean) and several lean sandwiches and a few salads (although watch out for the deep-fried chicken one).
As for weight, I'm down another 1/2 pound, which is terrific considering some of the oops mistakes I've made this week.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
So, why am I overweight?
Ann kindly asked in a previous post about the events leading to my gaining weight, after a somewhat crabby anonymous poster suggested I enter therapy (it did make me laugh). So, why have I struggled with weight issues as an adult, you ask, and why is it difficult for me to lose weight?
Well, as it happens, I clearly remember my first awareness of my weight. I had always been a really skinny child. I wore the "slim" sized pants and was always one of the lightest girls. I never worried about what I ate, but I do remember a sense that I was clumsy. Still, I had no worries about weight at all. Then, one day in my sophomore year, my high school gym teacher called me into her office to give me a talk about my weight. She said that at my age, weight can become an issue. That she had noticed I had started to fill out and mature and I should now nip it in the bud and I should watch it. Now, I weighed a whopping 110 pounds and I was about 5'6" or so. I had just started to fill out and so my hips were widening and I hadn't quite grown into my shape. I had no boobs and yet I was shooting upward. I had a really awkward body that I wasn't comfortable with, but my worst problem was probably slouching as I had never been tall and all of a sudden, I was. Now, I will tell you that I heard years later that this teacher had landed in the hospital with anorexia and I do remember her being inordinately aware of her body and it's size (extremely thin). I can't tell you what that meant, but I just remember it. At any rate, I had never thought of myself as anything but thin until she spoke to me. I remember feeling really horrid about myself afterward and confused.
So, I started eating salads for lunch because that's what she had told me to eat. I sneaked around when eating cookies because I felt I shouldn't eat them and started drinking diet pop because it was diet. Unfortunately, I continued to grow. I was 5'10" by the end of high school and 130 pounds. I see myself in photos now and it's pretty apparent that I was awkward, but still thin. But my mind was so controlled by what this teacher had said. Right around that time, a friend of mine had an eating disorder and I picked up some of her bad habits. Over ten years, I struggled with the issue. At 30, I dumped it one day in sudden illumination. I didn't want that to be my life. It was gross and weird and that was it. Unfortunately, the struggle wasn't over with weight. Since then, I've gone up and down from 150 all the way up to 200. My weight is often a reflection of my life. Super stressful situations bring on weight loss and then, when I start to focus on everyone else, I gain weight. I think the most difficult thing for me is to stop obsessing about losing weight—which I think about even when I'm thin.
I've had good friends tell me that I "could get any guy I want if I just lost weight," as if my value was intrinsically tied to weight. I've had other loved ones tell me, "Lisa, you need to lose weight," as if I didn't know that (hello, I have a blog about it).
The truth is, in this country, people think they can say anything to you they want if you have to lose weight. It doesn't matter if you have a little or a lot. People think that tough love in that situation helps. It doesn't.
At the same time, I don't blame anyone for my weight issue, even that gym teacher. That was then. What I know now is that it's up to me. I know there's some block to me just doing it, like Nike says. But that's the story for everyone who has to lose weight and isn't "just doing it." There's a block. And, personally, I don't feel that talking about it is going to help. I've done that for years. Now I'm trying something new. Every day, I'm trying to take a step (or 10 if I can) toward being thin. And feeling thin.
Today I rode my horse, and I was out of breath for most of it. Today, I also ate an oatmeal cookie for lunch because I really, really wanted one for several days and the craving didn't go away. But I didn't also have an egg salad sandwich and a bag of chips. I just had a cookie. And I savored it. And yesterday I walked a long way with my husband and stepson and my dog, Jack. I am taking a lot of great steps. I've lost some weight and I'm going to lose more. And hopefully, some people will read my blog and find help and support for themselves as well.
I think losing weight in this country is hard. So I'm hoping that by having a place to read about what thin people do (instead of what fat people shouldn't do, for once), people will hear a more positive message.
So, that's my weight story for what it's worth. But personally, I'm sick of it. Now, I really want to just envision a thin Lisa who takes time for herself while also making time for the people she loves. Balance and thinness. Who doesn't want that?
Well, as it happens, I clearly remember my first awareness of my weight. I had always been a really skinny child. I wore the "slim" sized pants and was always one of the lightest girls. I never worried about what I ate, but I do remember a sense that I was clumsy. Still, I had no worries about weight at all. Then, one day in my sophomore year, my high school gym teacher called me into her office to give me a talk about my weight. She said that at my age, weight can become an issue. That she had noticed I had started to fill out and mature and I should now nip it in the bud and I should watch it. Now, I weighed a whopping 110 pounds and I was about 5'6" or so. I had just started to fill out and so my hips were widening and I hadn't quite grown into my shape. I had no boobs and yet I was shooting upward. I had a really awkward body that I wasn't comfortable with, but my worst problem was probably slouching as I had never been tall and all of a sudden, I was. Now, I will tell you that I heard years later that this teacher had landed in the hospital with anorexia and I do remember her being inordinately aware of her body and it's size (extremely thin). I can't tell you what that meant, but I just remember it. At any rate, I had never thought of myself as anything but thin until she spoke to me. I remember feeling really horrid about myself afterward and confused.
So, I started eating salads for lunch because that's what she had told me to eat. I sneaked around when eating cookies because I felt I shouldn't eat them and started drinking diet pop because it was diet. Unfortunately, I continued to grow. I was 5'10" by the end of high school and 130 pounds. I see myself in photos now and it's pretty apparent that I was awkward, but still thin. But my mind was so controlled by what this teacher had said. Right around that time, a friend of mine had an eating disorder and I picked up some of her bad habits. Over ten years, I struggled with the issue. At 30, I dumped it one day in sudden illumination. I didn't want that to be my life. It was gross and weird and that was it. Unfortunately, the struggle wasn't over with weight. Since then, I've gone up and down from 150 all the way up to 200. My weight is often a reflection of my life. Super stressful situations bring on weight loss and then, when I start to focus on everyone else, I gain weight. I think the most difficult thing for me is to stop obsessing about losing weight—which I think about even when I'm thin.
I've had good friends tell me that I "could get any guy I want if I just lost weight," as if my value was intrinsically tied to weight. I've had other loved ones tell me, "Lisa, you need to lose weight," as if I didn't know that (hello, I have a blog about it).
The truth is, in this country, people think they can say anything to you they want if you have to lose weight. It doesn't matter if you have a little or a lot. People think that tough love in that situation helps. It doesn't.
At the same time, I don't blame anyone for my weight issue, even that gym teacher. That was then. What I know now is that it's up to me. I know there's some block to me just doing it, like Nike says. But that's the story for everyone who has to lose weight and isn't "just doing it." There's a block. And, personally, I don't feel that talking about it is going to help. I've done that for years. Now I'm trying something new. Every day, I'm trying to take a step (or 10 if I can) toward being thin. And feeling thin.
Today I rode my horse, and I was out of breath for most of it. Today, I also ate an oatmeal cookie for lunch because I really, really wanted one for several days and the craving didn't go away. But I didn't also have an egg salad sandwich and a bag of chips. I just had a cookie. And I savored it. And yesterday I walked a long way with my husband and stepson and my dog, Jack. I am taking a lot of great steps. I've lost some weight and I'm going to lose more. And hopefully, some people will read my blog and find help and support for themselves as well.
I think losing weight in this country is hard. So I'm hoping that by having a place to read about what thin people do (instead of what fat people shouldn't do, for once), people will hear a more positive message.
So, that's my weight story for what it's worth. But personally, I'm sick of it. Now, I really want to just envision a thin Lisa who takes time for herself while also making time for the people she loves. Balance and thinness. Who doesn't want that?
Friday, March 12, 2010
I can't remember what I like to eat!
I apologize for being a missing link over the past week or so. First, the kids are here and I can get a little short on spare time. Second, I'm really concentrating on figuring out what exactly are the foods I like and how often I'm hungry. And that's a lot harder than I thought it would be.
I often tell the kids, "It's not about what you like, it's about what's healthy." But the truth is, when food is your addiction, you often can't even remember what you like. Someone once said an addiction is getting too much of what you hate. I have to say that I've long hated food, even while I've loved it. So getting to the roots of what I need and like is an important part of getting through this mess.
One of the skinny chicks I've interviewed told me that she loves toast with peanut butter and honey and peanut butter and jelly in the morning. She has one slice of each every day because she loves it and looks forward to it. I'm trying to think of what I like for breakfast. I recently had peanut butter toast and honey toast (I don't like them together and I don't like jelly mixed with PB either), and it was just ok. Then I tried two eggs on toast, and I have to say that didn't wow me either, although it's ok. I honestly can't think of one thing I really like for breakfast, so while I'm thinking, I'm having an orange and a banana and coffee (I know I like coffee).
Another skinny chick I've interviewed told me that she won't waste her calories on chocolate that's lying around unless it's the really good stuff. The bottom line is that both of these women's thoughts center on what they like and want to eat rather than what they can't eat (and then eating it). No guilt Just another example of how thinking about what you want and then eating it purposefully is much better than completely denying yourself foods and then eating them anyway furtively and guiltily.
My youngest daughter tells me she loves hard-boiled eggs when they are still warm, so I'm making her those several mornings a week. Another daughter likes it when I make baked eggs in small cups. So I'm going back to making those as well. Wait, here's a though. I do love toast with butter on it. A friend told me I'll never lose weight eating bread with butter (that is a good one!), but I can lose weight if I modify it. What about if I use 1/2 tsp. of butter on each slice? And I do like cheese omelettes with onion and broccoli or asparagus. What if I cut out the oil and make sunnyside up eggs? Then I can grate a tiny bit of cheese on the eggs to get the flavor of cheese and not all the calories. Then I'll add the asparagus or broccoli. No more buttery eggs. Who needs it? Good breakfast solution. I like.
I often tell the kids, "It's not about what you like, it's about what's healthy." But the truth is, when food is your addiction, you often can't even remember what you like. Someone once said an addiction is getting too much of what you hate. I have to say that I've long hated food, even while I've loved it. So getting to the roots of what I need and like is an important part of getting through this mess.
One of the skinny chicks I've interviewed told me that she loves toast with peanut butter and honey and peanut butter and jelly in the morning. She has one slice of each every day because she loves it and looks forward to it. I'm trying to think of what I like for breakfast. I recently had peanut butter toast and honey toast (I don't like them together and I don't like jelly mixed with PB either), and it was just ok. Then I tried two eggs on toast, and I have to say that didn't wow me either, although it's ok. I honestly can't think of one thing I really like for breakfast, so while I'm thinking, I'm having an orange and a banana and coffee (I know I like coffee).
Another skinny chick I've interviewed told me that she won't waste her calories on chocolate that's lying around unless it's the really good stuff. The bottom line is that both of these women's thoughts center on what they like and want to eat rather than what they can't eat (and then eating it). No guilt Just another example of how thinking about what you want and then eating it purposefully is much better than completely denying yourself foods and then eating them anyway furtively and guiltily.
My youngest daughter tells me she loves hard-boiled eggs when they are still warm, so I'm making her those several mornings a week. Another daughter likes it when I make baked eggs in small cups. So I'm going back to making those as well. Wait, here's a though. I do love toast with butter on it. A friend told me I'll never lose weight eating bread with butter (that is a good one!), but I can lose weight if I modify it. What about if I use 1/2 tsp. of butter on each slice? And I do like cheese omelettes with onion and broccoli or asparagus. What if I cut out the oil and make sunnyside up eggs? Then I can grate a tiny bit of cheese on the eggs to get the flavor of cheese and not all the calories. Then I'll add the asparagus or broccoli. No more buttery eggs. Who needs it? Good breakfast solution. I like.
Monday, March 1, 2010
When you look good, you feel good. . .
After talking to many Skinny Chicks, I'm starting to notice that one element so often missing from Fat Chicks is self-pride. You know, that urge that has you shopping for nice clothing (and wearing it), or that has you styling your hair after you wash it, using makeup and actually wearing different socks every day.
It's also the thing that keeps you from eating food while shopping. After Ann so bluntly and helpfully commented that eating food while shopping is weird, it became pretty apparent to me that Skinny Chicks don't do that stuff. Not just because they don't want to, but because they have self-pride that keeps them focused on what they are there for. Since Ann's comment, I have NEVER eaten even once while shopping. I'm wearing makeup three out of five days during the week and almost always when I go out (although I didn't this weekend, and I found I didn't do very well on my eating). I'm dressing better and in fact went out and bought new jeans (3 pair) in my new size, knowing it won't be long until I'm buying smaller pants.
I'm also picking up my bedroom more, doing a better job keeping my floors free of furballs from our dogs, had my nice camel cashmere coat drycleaned and made sure no debris littered my bathroom every morning. I feel better!
I love Deon Sanders for one saying: When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you play good. My game is losing weight, and I need to feel good to really get it done.
I'm looking forward to the day I have my entire house picked up, my counters are crumb free, my fridge is clean and my laundry is caught up. I look forward to having a closet full of clothes that all work well together, are stylish, clean and flattering. And a smaller size. And my makeup is new and in use and my hair is known for being perfectly styled every day. My car will be clean and clutter free (it almost is now) and my system at home for keeping organized is maintained daily instead of just once a week.
It sounds impossible to the Fat Chicks, but so many of the Skinny Chicks I know are there. Sure, they don't have perfect closets across the board, or their hair is a week behind on its highlighting schedule, or their garden is getting in late. But it's usually not—by what I see—a house of cards very near, or mid-way through, collapse.
It's also the thing that keeps you from eating food while shopping. After Ann so bluntly and helpfully commented that eating food while shopping is weird, it became pretty apparent to me that Skinny Chicks don't do that stuff. Not just because they don't want to, but because they have self-pride that keeps them focused on what they are there for. Since Ann's comment, I have NEVER eaten even once while shopping. I'm wearing makeup three out of five days during the week and almost always when I go out (although I didn't this weekend, and I found I didn't do very well on my eating). I'm dressing better and in fact went out and bought new jeans (3 pair) in my new size, knowing it won't be long until I'm buying smaller pants.
I'm also picking up my bedroom more, doing a better job keeping my floors free of furballs from our dogs, had my nice camel cashmere coat drycleaned and made sure no debris littered my bathroom every morning. I feel better!
I love Deon Sanders for one saying: When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you play good. My game is losing weight, and I need to feel good to really get it done.
I'm looking forward to the day I have my entire house picked up, my counters are crumb free, my fridge is clean and my laundry is caught up. I look forward to having a closet full of clothes that all work well together, are stylish, clean and flattering. And a smaller size. And my makeup is new and in use and my hair is known for being perfectly styled every day. My car will be clean and clutter free (it almost is now) and my system at home for keeping organized is maintained daily instead of just once a week.
It sounds impossible to the Fat Chicks, but so many of the Skinny Chicks I know are there. Sure, they don't have perfect closets across the board, or their hair is a week behind on its highlighting schedule, or their garden is getting in late. But it's usually not—by what I see—a house of cards very near, or mid-way through, collapse.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Stuffed to the guilts!
Well, a party we held yesterday really put me off my game. Tim made his famously yummy pizza and I made lowfat chicken chili and a big salad. I tried both, but I did have a few pieces of Tim's' pizza. I was full! Now I'm also full of guilt.
I didn't eat much again until I got hungry later in the day, and then I had another couple pieces of pizza and popcorn. The kids said the popcorn didn't have enough butter, but I felt greasy and unhealthy. I think this is where Amy's (Skinny Chick No. 2) comments about eating without guilt, but then getting on track comes in. I have to get back on track. But I feel terribly guilty. I am noting how those feelings make me feel much more prone to throwing in the towel and saying, "oh well, I'll start again on Monday." But I'm trying not to have that attitude. Instead, I had an orange this morning and one big ol' pancake without syrup. I'm full again, but I'm not too full. I'm not eating anything else until I am hungry. I'm going to take my dog for a walk, ride my horse and get outside!
I'm discovering that I really hate feeling guilty. It's not the feeling that resides in the front of my consciousness. It's really more of an undertone that colors the whole day. I'm more snappish and negative as a whole. I think what I have to do learn to do is really think about what I want. I love Tim's pizza, and if I want a couple pieces, I have to sit and eat them consciously, not have anything else (that's just adding calories), and enjoy them. Feel satisfied from having one or two (note: Tim cuts his pizza in 2" squares, so it's not like they are 8" slices).
I didn't eat much again until I got hungry later in the day, and then I had another couple pieces of pizza and popcorn. The kids said the popcorn didn't have enough butter, but I felt greasy and unhealthy. I think this is where Amy's (Skinny Chick No. 2) comments about eating without guilt, but then getting on track comes in. I have to get back on track. But I feel terribly guilty. I am noting how those feelings make me feel much more prone to throwing in the towel and saying, "oh well, I'll start again on Monday." But I'm trying not to have that attitude. Instead, I had an orange this morning and one big ol' pancake without syrup. I'm full again, but I'm not too full. I'm not eating anything else until I am hungry. I'm going to take my dog for a walk, ride my horse and get outside!
I'm discovering that I really hate feeling guilty. It's not the feeling that resides in the front of my consciousness. It's really more of an undertone that colors the whole day. I'm more snappish and negative as a whole. I think what I have to do learn to do is really think about what I want. I love Tim's pizza, and if I want a couple pieces, I have to sit and eat them consciously, not have anything else (that's just adding calories), and enjoy them. Feel satisfied from having one or two (note: Tim cuts his pizza in 2" squares, so it's not like they are 8" slices).
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Get off your butt! (and I'm down 2 more pounds.)
One of my skinny friends recently sent me this interesting article from the New York Times which really hammers home the idea that you spend about 16 hours a day in activity other than sleeping, and much of that is sitting—which makes you fat! Even if you exercise for one of those 16 hours, that still leaves 15 hours at your discretion. So do you take the stairs instead of the escalator? Do you park far away and then walk the distance to your work door? Do you walk your dog or let them out the back door to do their duty? Do you go up and down the stairs in your home when you are cleaning or do you pile stuff on the stairs and then carry it all up in one load?
This was especially fascinating to me because I so often pride myself on getting rock star parking, efficiently moving items around the house and having a back yard for my dogs. But if I were a little less practical about time and a lot more practical about exercise, I would burn more calories. So, I have to changing my thinking to "How do I get the most bang for my exercising buck during the day?"
On the good news front, I have lost two more pounds. I attribute it solely to focusing more on what skinny chicks do rather than hating myself for every less-than-stellar choice I make.
Now, I'm going to cut this post short so that I can run up and down my stairs to do laundry and get my house cleaned up! (Thanks Amy/Skinny Chick No. 2 from my previous post.)
This was especially fascinating to me because I so often pride myself on getting rock star parking, efficiently moving items around the house and having a back yard for my dogs. But if I were a little less practical about time and a lot more practical about exercise, I would burn more calories. So, I have to changing my thinking to "How do I get the most bang for my exercising buck during the day?"
On the good news front, I have lost two more pounds. I attribute it solely to focusing more on what skinny chicks do rather than hating myself for every less-than-stellar choice I make.
Now, I'm going to cut this post short so that I can run up and down my stairs to do laundry and get my house cleaned up! (Thanks Amy/Skinny Chick No. 2 from my previous post.)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A great cook who's also a Skinny Chick says her workout is at home.
Skinny Chick No. 2 is someone I knew a long time ago when I was in college. I haven't spoken to her in more than a decade, but I just discovered she's a friend of a friend who hooked us up. I'm delighted to get reacquainted and share Amy's story because she's always struck me as a very sensible, elegant woman, far beyond her years (she's 34 now and I'm 47, and I think she is still more balanced than I).
Amy, now married to a physician and living in another state with their two young daughters, has really never had much of a weight problem. She's also a terrific home cook and baker who can be hired to make "down home" desserts for others, whether it's a white cake with butter cream frosting for a birthday party or treats for a child's classroom. Amy developed her love of cooking and baking in England where she attended graduate school. Although antiques and art were the focus of her career goals of working in an auction house, making food was her delightful hobby. "For me, learning how to cook and bake was a stress reliever."
When she married her husband 10 years ago, he had two sons age 10 and 12 who would only eat hot dogs and drink pop. They thought they were allergic to other foods (or just wouldn't eat them). But Amy, who says she's "a tough love kind of person," cooked regular meals and expected them to try everything. And they did. And they now will eat anything. She raises her daughters, ages 5 and 6, the same way, and they'll eat anything from calamari to cauliflower. Every night, she cooks a real meal of protein, starch, vegetable and fruit for dinner. A typical meal is breaded pork chops, roasted broccoli, pasta side dish and fruit salad. The night before our interview she made pasta with meat sauce, a vegetable salad and jello and fruit salad. She also manages to eat dessert every day. "I have a sweet tooth," she confesses. Amy's skinny chick philosophy is that you shouldn't agonize over what you eat too much or you'll get into trouble.
So, this isn't a story about a woman who watches every morsel that goes into her mouth and spends an hour in the gym several times a week. Amy doesn't deny herself anything, and she doesn't waste her time feeling guilty. If she eats a cupcake for a snack, or even two in one day, she doesn't worry about it. Her thoughts are on enjoying what she's eating, and then she moves on. (I'm acknowledging here that when you are losing weight, two cupcakes might be difficult to balance into a loss for most of us.)
Having said that, this doesn't mean that Amy's thoughts are the same as a Fat Chick's who might be thinking, "I can eat this, and I can eat that" with the sound of furious gobbling and gulping as accompaniment. The key difference with Amy is her lack of Guilt. She's not embarrassed and she's not wishing she could take it back (or get it out). She's not hiding it from others or thinking about hiding it from others. She's also thinking about how much she enjoys the flavor and taste of the food rather than simply the act of eating. Do you get that? It means eating isn't just busy work for Amy. It's about enjoying the flavors and the taste. And the eating of the food isn't immediately forgotten. She's mentally balancing her consumption for the day as well as the week at the time she's thinking about what to eat.
Amy eats when she's hungry and she eats what makes sense to her given what she'll be eating later in the day, what she likes and what's healthy. The difference is that she knows her body and knows what she likes and then takes both into account. Amy relishes her food. Take her breakfast, for example. Except on special occasions, every day for breakfast for the past five years, she has two pieces of whole grain toast—one with peanut butter and honey and the other with peanut butter and jelly—and coffee with cream and sugar. She just loves that meal. "I look forward to breakfast because it's one of my favorite meals," she said. "I really like that toast in the morning."
Morning is her hungry time. She has breakfast between 6:30 and 7:30, but will eat a few more small meals until about 1 p.m., but it's always something she likes. It could be leftover slices of apple from one of her daughters, some leftovers from the night before or even a sandwich if she knows her lunch is going to be light because of an activity at that time. But she's always calculating how it fits into her day. For example, if she's going to make a favorite dish of hers for dinner, she's going to eat a little less for lunch so that she's good and hungry for that dinner. "I'm going to make sure I can really enjoy the food." That's in huge contrast to me, who will eat what she likes and doesn't plan ahead. Or rarely even plans ahead. And washes it all down with a huge gulp of guilt. Amy knows in advance what she'll be eating for dinner or lunch. She often takes food out of the freezer the night before to prepare, or she'll shop for something that sounds good to her in the afternoon. The key difference is that she's not eating to eat, she's eating for real pleasure. She's choosing foods she likes, that are healthy and that satisfy her hunger. "For me, food is a wonderful pleasure," she says. "I just don't make it an everyday issue."
That's a major thing with Skinny Chicks. They develop a routine so that they don't have to think about eating from minute to minute. They know how much food to put on their plate to fit the right amount of calories. (Amy plates her food in the kitchen, rather than serving family style because it reduces dishes. I serve family style, probably in case I want a second or third helping.) They know their bodies and what they will need to eat and when. Their eating becomes regulated because they are thinking about what their body is doing and what it likes and how it maintains what they are doing. Their metabolism isn't confused by the irregular habits. There's no need for starvation mode because they aren't ever starving. How many of you have no idea what the amount of food is that will help you maintain your weight? I know that I don't know. My food life is different day-to-day.
Now on to exercise—and this is the fun part. Amy, who has been at home with her kids, really does work at home. It's her first focus—not food! She cleans her own house, irons her own clothes and spends 3 to 4 hours in the kitchen every night cooking and then cleaning up every night. And she considers it a workout. "In thinking about the friends I have, they are part of a gym, but they still seem to have a lot of struggles with maintaining their weight. I think they are thinking about it too much and focusing on it too much. They don't do enough around their house." Amy says she's up and down her stairs many times a day (she knows some people who are never upstairs until bed time). She vacuums her busy areas at least once a day. She never watches daytime television and actually has a spring (and probably fall) cleaning schedule. She's at home, working on her house most of the day. If she does have an errand over the lunch hour, she throws a cut up apple, some nuts and a can of V-8 juice in her bag. At night, she will occasionally do her ironing (at the time of our interview, she had an hour and a half of linen ironing from two recent parties she hosted, which she planned to do that evening after the girls were in bed). Basically, she's going from morning until night. Her home and her life are tightly organized ships, and it shows.
I recently read about a study in which two groups of hotel housekeepers were tested in terms of exercise and fitness. Then, one group was told to just keep doing everything the same as always, and the other was told to think about the workout they are getting while they cleaned, to really focus on how their muscles were working to get the job done. After just two weeks, the women who were thinking about all they were doing had noticeable weight loss and muscle improvement. This was in a book about how your mind can really improve the benefits of what you do if you are conscious about it.
I do a great job cleaning on Saturdays, but I do very little other than make dinner during the week. After our conversation, I've resolved to get up from my computer every hour and do 15 minutes of cleaning, whether it's dusting, vacuuming or dishwashing. I might even wash my floors during the week on this plan or scrub a tub or shower. I'm also going to think about the workout. Fun!
At 5'7" and 143 pounds and a six 6 or 8, Amy says she's at the perfect weight for her. "I wouldn't mind being 135, but I don't want to work at being 135. I don't want to give up eating what I eat," Amy says. Part of the problem, she says, is that she watches her friends who strive to be much thinner than their comfortable weight and end up being much heavier because it weighs on their minds. Right now, she's able to think, when her body tells her she needs to eat, "what do I want to eat," not "what should I eat to stay thin." After all, it must be comforting to know she's going to eat dessert every day. That way, she never has to binge on 10 cupcakes or eat half a cake in one sitting.
"You can lose weight any way you want," she says. "You can go on a chocolate diet (just eating 1,200 calories of chocolate a day). So I don't think people should ever eliminate foods from their diet. That's not realistic." For Amy, thinking about what you like, then eating it in moderation and without guilt is much healthier, and it works great for her.
Amy, now married to a physician and living in another state with their two young daughters, has really never had much of a weight problem. She's also a terrific home cook and baker who can be hired to make "down home" desserts for others, whether it's a white cake with butter cream frosting for a birthday party or treats for a child's classroom. Amy developed her love of cooking and baking in England where she attended graduate school. Although antiques and art were the focus of her career goals of working in an auction house, making food was her delightful hobby. "For me, learning how to cook and bake was a stress reliever."
When she married her husband 10 years ago, he had two sons age 10 and 12 who would only eat hot dogs and drink pop. They thought they were allergic to other foods (or just wouldn't eat them). But Amy, who says she's "a tough love kind of person," cooked regular meals and expected them to try everything. And they did. And they now will eat anything. She raises her daughters, ages 5 and 6, the same way, and they'll eat anything from calamari to cauliflower. Every night, she cooks a real meal of protein, starch, vegetable and fruit for dinner. A typical meal is breaded pork chops, roasted broccoli, pasta side dish and fruit salad. The night before our interview she made pasta with meat sauce, a vegetable salad and jello and fruit salad. She also manages to eat dessert every day. "I have a sweet tooth," she confesses. Amy's skinny chick philosophy is that you shouldn't agonize over what you eat too much or you'll get into trouble.
So, this isn't a story about a woman who watches every morsel that goes into her mouth and spends an hour in the gym several times a week. Amy doesn't deny herself anything, and she doesn't waste her time feeling guilty. If she eats a cupcake for a snack, or even two in one day, she doesn't worry about it. Her thoughts are on enjoying what she's eating, and then she moves on. (I'm acknowledging here that when you are losing weight, two cupcakes might be difficult to balance into a loss for most of us.)
Having said that, this doesn't mean that Amy's thoughts are the same as a Fat Chick's who might be thinking, "I can eat this, and I can eat that" with the sound of furious gobbling and gulping as accompaniment. The key difference with Amy is her lack of Guilt. She's not embarrassed and she's not wishing she could take it back (or get it out). She's not hiding it from others or thinking about hiding it from others. She's also thinking about how much she enjoys the flavor and taste of the food rather than simply the act of eating. Do you get that? It means eating isn't just busy work for Amy. It's about enjoying the flavors and the taste. And the eating of the food isn't immediately forgotten. She's mentally balancing her consumption for the day as well as the week at the time she's thinking about what to eat.
Amy eats when she's hungry and she eats what makes sense to her given what she'll be eating later in the day, what she likes and what's healthy. The difference is that she knows her body and knows what she likes and then takes both into account. Amy relishes her food. Take her breakfast, for example. Except on special occasions, every day for breakfast for the past five years, she has two pieces of whole grain toast—one with peanut butter and honey and the other with peanut butter and jelly—and coffee with cream and sugar. She just loves that meal. "I look forward to breakfast because it's one of my favorite meals," she said. "I really like that toast in the morning."
Morning is her hungry time. She has breakfast between 6:30 and 7:30, but will eat a few more small meals until about 1 p.m., but it's always something she likes. It could be leftover slices of apple from one of her daughters, some leftovers from the night before or even a sandwich if she knows her lunch is going to be light because of an activity at that time. But she's always calculating how it fits into her day. For example, if she's going to make a favorite dish of hers for dinner, she's going to eat a little less for lunch so that she's good and hungry for that dinner. "I'm going to make sure I can really enjoy the food." That's in huge contrast to me, who will eat what she likes and doesn't plan ahead. Or rarely even plans ahead. And washes it all down with a huge gulp of guilt. Amy knows in advance what she'll be eating for dinner or lunch. She often takes food out of the freezer the night before to prepare, or she'll shop for something that sounds good to her in the afternoon. The key difference is that she's not eating to eat, she's eating for real pleasure. She's choosing foods she likes, that are healthy and that satisfy her hunger. "For me, food is a wonderful pleasure," she says. "I just don't make it an everyday issue."
That's a major thing with Skinny Chicks. They develop a routine so that they don't have to think about eating from minute to minute. They know how much food to put on their plate to fit the right amount of calories. (Amy plates her food in the kitchen, rather than serving family style because it reduces dishes. I serve family style, probably in case I want a second or third helping.) They know their bodies and what they will need to eat and when. Their eating becomes regulated because they are thinking about what their body is doing and what it likes and how it maintains what they are doing. Their metabolism isn't confused by the irregular habits. There's no need for starvation mode because they aren't ever starving. How many of you have no idea what the amount of food is that will help you maintain your weight? I know that I don't know. My food life is different day-to-day.
Now on to exercise—and this is the fun part. Amy, who has been at home with her kids, really does work at home. It's her first focus—not food! She cleans her own house, irons her own clothes and spends 3 to 4 hours in the kitchen every night cooking and then cleaning up every night. And she considers it a workout. "In thinking about the friends I have, they are part of a gym, but they still seem to have a lot of struggles with maintaining their weight. I think they are thinking about it too much and focusing on it too much. They don't do enough around their house." Amy says she's up and down her stairs many times a day (she knows some people who are never upstairs until bed time). She vacuums her busy areas at least once a day. She never watches daytime television and actually has a spring (and probably fall) cleaning schedule. She's at home, working on her house most of the day. If she does have an errand over the lunch hour, she throws a cut up apple, some nuts and a can of V-8 juice in her bag. At night, she will occasionally do her ironing (at the time of our interview, she had an hour and a half of linen ironing from two recent parties she hosted, which she planned to do that evening after the girls were in bed). Basically, she's going from morning until night. Her home and her life are tightly organized ships, and it shows.
I recently read about a study in which two groups of hotel housekeepers were tested in terms of exercise and fitness. Then, one group was told to just keep doing everything the same as always, and the other was told to think about the workout they are getting while they cleaned, to really focus on how their muscles were working to get the job done. After just two weeks, the women who were thinking about all they were doing had noticeable weight loss and muscle improvement. This was in a book about how your mind can really improve the benefits of what you do if you are conscious about it.
I do a great job cleaning on Saturdays, but I do very little other than make dinner during the week. After our conversation, I've resolved to get up from my computer every hour and do 15 minutes of cleaning, whether it's dusting, vacuuming or dishwashing. I might even wash my floors during the week on this plan or scrub a tub or shower. I'm also going to think about the workout. Fun!
At 5'7" and 143 pounds and a six 6 or 8, Amy says she's at the perfect weight for her. "I wouldn't mind being 135, but I don't want to work at being 135. I don't want to give up eating what I eat," Amy says. Part of the problem, she says, is that she watches her friends who strive to be much thinner than their comfortable weight and end up being much heavier because it weighs on their minds. Right now, she's able to think, when her body tells her she needs to eat, "what do I want to eat," not "what should I eat to stay thin." After all, it must be comforting to know she's going to eat dessert every day. That way, she never has to binge on 10 cupcakes or eat half a cake in one sitting.
"You can lose weight any way you want," she says. "You can go on a chocolate diet (just eating 1,200 calories of chocolate a day). So I don't think people should ever eliminate foods from their diet. That's not realistic." For Amy, thinking about what you like, then eating it in moderation and without guilt is much healthier, and it works great for her.
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