Well, a party we held yesterday really put me off my game. Tim made his famously yummy pizza and I made lowfat chicken chili and a big salad. I tried both, but I did have a few pieces of Tim's' pizza. I was full! Now I'm also full of guilt.
I didn't eat much again until I got hungry later in the day, and then I had another couple pieces of pizza and popcorn. The kids said the popcorn didn't have enough butter, but I felt greasy and unhealthy. I think this is where Amy's (Skinny Chick No. 2) comments about eating without guilt, but then getting on track comes in. I have to get back on track. But I feel terribly guilty. I am noting how those feelings make me feel much more prone to throwing in the towel and saying, "oh well, I'll start again on Monday." But I'm trying not to have that attitude. Instead, I had an orange this morning and one big ol' pancake without syrup. I'm full again, but I'm not too full. I'm not eating anything else until I am hungry. I'm going to take my dog for a walk, ride my horse and get outside!
I'm discovering that I really hate feeling guilty. It's not the feeling that resides in the front of my consciousness. It's really more of an undertone that colors the whole day. I'm more snappish and negative as a whole. I think what I have to do learn to do is really think about what I want. I love Tim's pizza, and if I want a couple pieces, I have to sit and eat them consciously, not have anything else (that's just adding calories), and enjoy them. Feel satisfied from having one or two (note: Tim cuts his pizza in 2" squares, so it's not like they are 8" slices).
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Get off your butt! (and I'm down 2 more pounds.)
One of my skinny friends recently sent me this interesting article from the New York Times which really hammers home the idea that you spend about 16 hours a day in activity other than sleeping, and much of that is sitting—which makes you fat! Even if you exercise for one of those 16 hours, that still leaves 15 hours at your discretion. So do you take the stairs instead of the escalator? Do you park far away and then walk the distance to your work door? Do you walk your dog or let them out the back door to do their duty? Do you go up and down the stairs in your home when you are cleaning or do you pile stuff on the stairs and then carry it all up in one load?
This was especially fascinating to me because I so often pride myself on getting rock star parking, efficiently moving items around the house and having a back yard for my dogs. But if I were a little less practical about time and a lot more practical about exercise, I would burn more calories. So, I have to changing my thinking to "How do I get the most bang for my exercising buck during the day?"
On the good news front, I have lost two more pounds. I attribute it solely to focusing more on what skinny chicks do rather than hating myself for every less-than-stellar choice I make.
Now, I'm going to cut this post short so that I can run up and down my stairs to do laundry and get my house cleaned up! (Thanks Amy/Skinny Chick No. 2 from my previous post.)
This was especially fascinating to me because I so often pride myself on getting rock star parking, efficiently moving items around the house and having a back yard for my dogs. But if I were a little less practical about time and a lot more practical about exercise, I would burn more calories. So, I have to changing my thinking to "How do I get the most bang for my exercising buck during the day?"
On the good news front, I have lost two more pounds. I attribute it solely to focusing more on what skinny chicks do rather than hating myself for every less-than-stellar choice I make.
Now, I'm going to cut this post short so that I can run up and down my stairs to do laundry and get my house cleaned up! (Thanks Amy/Skinny Chick No. 2 from my previous post.)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A great cook who's also a Skinny Chick says her workout is at home.
Skinny Chick No. 2 is someone I knew a long time ago when I was in college. I haven't spoken to her in more than a decade, but I just discovered she's a friend of a friend who hooked us up. I'm delighted to get reacquainted and share Amy's story because she's always struck me as a very sensible, elegant woman, far beyond her years (she's 34 now and I'm 47, and I think she is still more balanced than I).
Amy, now married to a physician and living in another state with their two young daughters, has really never had much of a weight problem. She's also a terrific home cook and baker who can be hired to make "down home" desserts for others, whether it's a white cake with butter cream frosting for a birthday party or treats for a child's classroom. Amy developed her love of cooking and baking in England where she attended graduate school. Although antiques and art were the focus of her career goals of working in an auction house, making food was her delightful hobby. "For me, learning how to cook and bake was a stress reliever."
When she married her husband 10 years ago, he had two sons age 10 and 12 who would only eat hot dogs and drink pop. They thought they were allergic to other foods (or just wouldn't eat them). But Amy, who says she's "a tough love kind of person," cooked regular meals and expected them to try everything. And they did. And they now will eat anything. She raises her daughters, ages 5 and 6, the same way, and they'll eat anything from calamari to cauliflower. Every night, she cooks a real meal of protein, starch, vegetable and fruit for dinner. A typical meal is breaded pork chops, roasted broccoli, pasta side dish and fruit salad. The night before our interview she made pasta with meat sauce, a vegetable salad and jello and fruit salad. She also manages to eat dessert every day. "I have a sweet tooth," she confesses. Amy's skinny chick philosophy is that you shouldn't agonize over what you eat too much or you'll get into trouble.
So, this isn't a story about a woman who watches every morsel that goes into her mouth and spends an hour in the gym several times a week. Amy doesn't deny herself anything, and she doesn't waste her time feeling guilty. If she eats a cupcake for a snack, or even two in one day, she doesn't worry about it. Her thoughts are on enjoying what she's eating, and then she moves on. (I'm acknowledging here that when you are losing weight, two cupcakes might be difficult to balance into a loss for most of us.)
Having said that, this doesn't mean that Amy's thoughts are the same as a Fat Chick's who might be thinking, "I can eat this, and I can eat that" with the sound of furious gobbling and gulping as accompaniment. The key difference with Amy is her lack of Guilt. She's not embarrassed and she's not wishing she could take it back (or get it out). She's not hiding it from others or thinking about hiding it from others. She's also thinking about how much she enjoys the flavor and taste of the food rather than simply the act of eating. Do you get that? It means eating isn't just busy work for Amy. It's about enjoying the flavors and the taste. And the eating of the food isn't immediately forgotten. She's mentally balancing her consumption for the day as well as the week at the time she's thinking about what to eat.
Amy eats when she's hungry and she eats what makes sense to her given what she'll be eating later in the day, what she likes and what's healthy. The difference is that she knows her body and knows what she likes and then takes both into account. Amy relishes her food. Take her breakfast, for example. Except on special occasions, every day for breakfast for the past five years, she has two pieces of whole grain toast—one with peanut butter and honey and the other with peanut butter and jelly—and coffee with cream and sugar. She just loves that meal. "I look forward to breakfast because it's one of my favorite meals," she said. "I really like that toast in the morning."
Morning is her hungry time. She has breakfast between 6:30 and 7:30, but will eat a few more small meals until about 1 p.m., but it's always something she likes. It could be leftover slices of apple from one of her daughters, some leftovers from the night before or even a sandwich if she knows her lunch is going to be light because of an activity at that time. But she's always calculating how it fits into her day. For example, if she's going to make a favorite dish of hers for dinner, she's going to eat a little less for lunch so that she's good and hungry for that dinner. "I'm going to make sure I can really enjoy the food." That's in huge contrast to me, who will eat what she likes and doesn't plan ahead. Or rarely even plans ahead. And washes it all down with a huge gulp of guilt. Amy knows in advance what she'll be eating for dinner or lunch. She often takes food out of the freezer the night before to prepare, or she'll shop for something that sounds good to her in the afternoon. The key difference is that she's not eating to eat, she's eating for real pleasure. She's choosing foods she likes, that are healthy and that satisfy her hunger. "For me, food is a wonderful pleasure," she says. "I just don't make it an everyday issue."
That's a major thing with Skinny Chicks. They develop a routine so that they don't have to think about eating from minute to minute. They know how much food to put on their plate to fit the right amount of calories. (Amy plates her food in the kitchen, rather than serving family style because it reduces dishes. I serve family style, probably in case I want a second or third helping.) They know their bodies and what they will need to eat and when. Their eating becomes regulated because they are thinking about what their body is doing and what it likes and how it maintains what they are doing. Their metabolism isn't confused by the irregular habits. There's no need for starvation mode because they aren't ever starving. How many of you have no idea what the amount of food is that will help you maintain your weight? I know that I don't know. My food life is different day-to-day.
Now on to exercise—and this is the fun part. Amy, who has been at home with her kids, really does work at home. It's her first focus—not food! She cleans her own house, irons her own clothes and spends 3 to 4 hours in the kitchen every night cooking and then cleaning up every night. And she considers it a workout. "In thinking about the friends I have, they are part of a gym, but they still seem to have a lot of struggles with maintaining their weight. I think they are thinking about it too much and focusing on it too much. They don't do enough around their house." Amy says she's up and down her stairs many times a day (she knows some people who are never upstairs until bed time). She vacuums her busy areas at least once a day. She never watches daytime television and actually has a spring (and probably fall) cleaning schedule. She's at home, working on her house most of the day. If she does have an errand over the lunch hour, she throws a cut up apple, some nuts and a can of V-8 juice in her bag. At night, she will occasionally do her ironing (at the time of our interview, she had an hour and a half of linen ironing from two recent parties she hosted, which she planned to do that evening after the girls were in bed). Basically, she's going from morning until night. Her home and her life are tightly organized ships, and it shows.
I recently read about a study in which two groups of hotel housekeepers were tested in terms of exercise and fitness. Then, one group was told to just keep doing everything the same as always, and the other was told to think about the workout they are getting while they cleaned, to really focus on how their muscles were working to get the job done. After just two weeks, the women who were thinking about all they were doing had noticeable weight loss and muscle improvement. This was in a book about how your mind can really improve the benefits of what you do if you are conscious about it.
I do a great job cleaning on Saturdays, but I do very little other than make dinner during the week. After our conversation, I've resolved to get up from my computer every hour and do 15 minutes of cleaning, whether it's dusting, vacuuming or dishwashing. I might even wash my floors during the week on this plan or scrub a tub or shower. I'm also going to think about the workout. Fun!
At 5'7" and 143 pounds and a six 6 or 8, Amy says she's at the perfect weight for her. "I wouldn't mind being 135, but I don't want to work at being 135. I don't want to give up eating what I eat," Amy says. Part of the problem, she says, is that she watches her friends who strive to be much thinner than their comfortable weight and end up being much heavier because it weighs on their minds. Right now, she's able to think, when her body tells her she needs to eat, "what do I want to eat," not "what should I eat to stay thin." After all, it must be comforting to know she's going to eat dessert every day. That way, she never has to binge on 10 cupcakes or eat half a cake in one sitting.
"You can lose weight any way you want," she says. "You can go on a chocolate diet (just eating 1,200 calories of chocolate a day). So I don't think people should ever eliminate foods from their diet. That's not realistic." For Amy, thinking about what you like, then eating it in moderation and without guilt is much healthier, and it works great for her.
Amy, now married to a physician and living in another state with their two young daughters, has really never had much of a weight problem. She's also a terrific home cook and baker who can be hired to make "down home" desserts for others, whether it's a white cake with butter cream frosting for a birthday party or treats for a child's classroom. Amy developed her love of cooking and baking in England where she attended graduate school. Although antiques and art were the focus of her career goals of working in an auction house, making food was her delightful hobby. "For me, learning how to cook and bake was a stress reliever."
When she married her husband 10 years ago, he had two sons age 10 and 12 who would only eat hot dogs and drink pop. They thought they were allergic to other foods (or just wouldn't eat them). But Amy, who says she's "a tough love kind of person," cooked regular meals and expected them to try everything. And they did. And they now will eat anything. She raises her daughters, ages 5 and 6, the same way, and they'll eat anything from calamari to cauliflower. Every night, she cooks a real meal of protein, starch, vegetable and fruit for dinner. A typical meal is breaded pork chops, roasted broccoli, pasta side dish and fruit salad. The night before our interview she made pasta with meat sauce, a vegetable salad and jello and fruit salad. She also manages to eat dessert every day. "I have a sweet tooth," she confesses. Amy's skinny chick philosophy is that you shouldn't agonize over what you eat too much or you'll get into trouble.
So, this isn't a story about a woman who watches every morsel that goes into her mouth and spends an hour in the gym several times a week. Amy doesn't deny herself anything, and she doesn't waste her time feeling guilty. If she eats a cupcake for a snack, or even two in one day, she doesn't worry about it. Her thoughts are on enjoying what she's eating, and then she moves on. (I'm acknowledging here that when you are losing weight, two cupcakes might be difficult to balance into a loss for most of us.)
Having said that, this doesn't mean that Amy's thoughts are the same as a Fat Chick's who might be thinking, "I can eat this, and I can eat that" with the sound of furious gobbling and gulping as accompaniment. The key difference with Amy is her lack of Guilt. She's not embarrassed and she's not wishing she could take it back (or get it out). She's not hiding it from others or thinking about hiding it from others. She's also thinking about how much she enjoys the flavor and taste of the food rather than simply the act of eating. Do you get that? It means eating isn't just busy work for Amy. It's about enjoying the flavors and the taste. And the eating of the food isn't immediately forgotten. She's mentally balancing her consumption for the day as well as the week at the time she's thinking about what to eat.
Amy eats when she's hungry and she eats what makes sense to her given what she'll be eating later in the day, what she likes and what's healthy. The difference is that she knows her body and knows what she likes and then takes both into account. Amy relishes her food. Take her breakfast, for example. Except on special occasions, every day for breakfast for the past five years, she has two pieces of whole grain toast—one with peanut butter and honey and the other with peanut butter and jelly—and coffee with cream and sugar. She just loves that meal. "I look forward to breakfast because it's one of my favorite meals," she said. "I really like that toast in the morning."
Morning is her hungry time. She has breakfast between 6:30 and 7:30, but will eat a few more small meals until about 1 p.m., but it's always something she likes. It could be leftover slices of apple from one of her daughters, some leftovers from the night before or even a sandwich if she knows her lunch is going to be light because of an activity at that time. But she's always calculating how it fits into her day. For example, if she's going to make a favorite dish of hers for dinner, she's going to eat a little less for lunch so that she's good and hungry for that dinner. "I'm going to make sure I can really enjoy the food." That's in huge contrast to me, who will eat what she likes and doesn't plan ahead. Or rarely even plans ahead. And washes it all down with a huge gulp of guilt. Amy knows in advance what she'll be eating for dinner or lunch. She often takes food out of the freezer the night before to prepare, or she'll shop for something that sounds good to her in the afternoon. The key difference is that she's not eating to eat, she's eating for real pleasure. She's choosing foods she likes, that are healthy and that satisfy her hunger. "For me, food is a wonderful pleasure," she says. "I just don't make it an everyday issue."
That's a major thing with Skinny Chicks. They develop a routine so that they don't have to think about eating from minute to minute. They know how much food to put on their plate to fit the right amount of calories. (Amy plates her food in the kitchen, rather than serving family style because it reduces dishes. I serve family style, probably in case I want a second or third helping.) They know their bodies and what they will need to eat and when. Their eating becomes regulated because they are thinking about what their body is doing and what it likes and how it maintains what they are doing. Their metabolism isn't confused by the irregular habits. There's no need for starvation mode because they aren't ever starving. How many of you have no idea what the amount of food is that will help you maintain your weight? I know that I don't know. My food life is different day-to-day.
Now on to exercise—and this is the fun part. Amy, who has been at home with her kids, really does work at home. It's her first focus—not food! She cleans her own house, irons her own clothes and spends 3 to 4 hours in the kitchen every night cooking and then cleaning up every night. And she considers it a workout. "In thinking about the friends I have, they are part of a gym, but they still seem to have a lot of struggles with maintaining their weight. I think they are thinking about it too much and focusing on it too much. They don't do enough around their house." Amy says she's up and down her stairs many times a day (she knows some people who are never upstairs until bed time). She vacuums her busy areas at least once a day. She never watches daytime television and actually has a spring (and probably fall) cleaning schedule. She's at home, working on her house most of the day. If she does have an errand over the lunch hour, she throws a cut up apple, some nuts and a can of V-8 juice in her bag. At night, she will occasionally do her ironing (at the time of our interview, she had an hour and a half of linen ironing from two recent parties she hosted, which she planned to do that evening after the girls were in bed). Basically, she's going from morning until night. Her home and her life are tightly organized ships, and it shows.
I recently read about a study in which two groups of hotel housekeepers were tested in terms of exercise and fitness. Then, one group was told to just keep doing everything the same as always, and the other was told to think about the workout they are getting while they cleaned, to really focus on how their muscles were working to get the job done. After just two weeks, the women who were thinking about all they were doing had noticeable weight loss and muscle improvement. This was in a book about how your mind can really improve the benefits of what you do if you are conscious about it.
I do a great job cleaning on Saturdays, but I do very little other than make dinner during the week. After our conversation, I've resolved to get up from my computer every hour and do 15 minutes of cleaning, whether it's dusting, vacuuming or dishwashing. I might even wash my floors during the week on this plan or scrub a tub or shower. I'm also going to think about the workout. Fun!
At 5'7" and 143 pounds and a six 6 or 8, Amy says she's at the perfect weight for her. "I wouldn't mind being 135, but I don't want to work at being 135. I don't want to give up eating what I eat," Amy says. Part of the problem, she says, is that she watches her friends who strive to be much thinner than their comfortable weight and end up being much heavier because it weighs on their minds. Right now, she's able to think, when her body tells her she needs to eat, "what do I want to eat," not "what should I eat to stay thin." After all, it must be comforting to know she's going to eat dessert every day. That way, she never has to binge on 10 cupcakes or eat half a cake in one sitting.
"You can lose weight any way you want," she says. "You can go on a chocolate diet (just eating 1,200 calories of chocolate a day). So I don't think people should ever eliminate foods from their diet. That's not realistic." For Amy, thinking about what you like, then eating it in moderation and without guilt is much healthier, and it works great for her.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Failure to exercise
I'm on the verge of a new post with a new skinny chick and I think, based on my own failures, it has to be about exercise. I have had a membership at a gym for about four months and I've been there once! That is terrible. Yes, I do other exercise, but as is evident by my figure, it is sporadic at best. I like exercise and there's lots of time that I want to go, but I just don't. I'm wondering what the skinny chicks do. Yes, yes, they make it a part of their day. But what are the thoughts that get them to take action? I'm going to figure this out. I have this overwhelming sense of lethargy that is difficult to overcome. I think some of it has to do with mental fatigue -- taking on three children is definitely exhausting--but it's time that excuse went by the wayside. After all, Kate plus 8 is thin and she's got eight (although I think her method of venting the moment a little bit of anger hits her might help).
Eating is going better, but I haven't been great at writing everything down. Sometimes when I think I'm doing well, I slack. I've got to remember that when I do that, I am likely eating things that I am forgetting. That's how I got in this mess. So, I'm going to write down everything from pineapple to peanut butter.
Eating is going better, but I haven't been great at writing everything down. Sometimes when I think I'm doing well, I slack. I've got to remember that when I do that, I am likely eating things that I am forgetting. That's how I got in this mess. So, I'm going to write down everything from pineapple to peanut butter.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
A few Skinny Chick/Hefty Chick comparisons.
This weekend, I was at a business class and they told us they would serve us lunch, which would be sandwiches. Woopsie! It was pizza. So I had a couple pieces. Nearby was a skinny woman who also doesn't eat any gluten and she had—no surprise here—packed her lunch. She had a beautiful spinach salad with beets, walnuts, feta cheese and a few other yummy surprises. She also had a nice piece of gluten-free banana bread and yogurt or something. I wish I had done that.
I remember when I was thin, I would NEVER have eaten at the concession stand at a hockey, football or any other game. At the hockey game the other night, I hadn't eaten, so I had a hot dog (better than Tim who had nachos, a brat, popcorn and a soda). What's up with that? Of course, it was a surprise to get the tickets and my resistance was slacking due to a Scott Ol' Fashioned (made by my friend Scott who is superb at it). What happened to just being hungry until something better came along?
So, since doing the story on Jill, I've been thinking more about what I'm going to eat during the week. I will stick to sandwiches and salads, since that's easy and yet provides lots of variety. I am going to make that walnut and beet salad because it looks so good! I'm also putting a few healthy snacks in bags tonight and keeping them in my fridge where they are easy to grab. Also water bottles filled in advance. I have those nifty metallic ones, but I think I need to put them out so they are easier to grab when the kids are around.
I remember when I was thin, I would NEVER have eaten at the concession stand at a hockey, football or any other game. At the hockey game the other night, I hadn't eaten, so I had a hot dog (better than Tim who had nachos, a brat, popcorn and a soda). What's up with that? Of course, it was a surprise to get the tickets and my resistance was slacking due to a Scott Ol' Fashioned (made by my friend Scott who is superb at it). What happened to just being hungry until something better came along?
So, since doing the story on Jill, I've been thinking more about what I'm going to eat during the week. I will stick to sandwiches and salads, since that's easy and yet provides lots of variety. I am going to make that walnut and beet salad because it looks so good! I'm also putting a few healthy snacks in bags tonight and keeping them in my fridge where they are easy to grab. Also water bottles filled in advance. I have those nifty metallic ones, but I think I need to put them out so they are easier to grab when the kids are around.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
My first skinny chick!
Below is my first "thin person" interview. I'm hoping to have several of these each week. In most cases, I will not use their real name. Their name doesn't matter, but their story does.
This week, I learned a lot from the woman I'm going to call Jill. She's a busy mom and career woman. She has a very quick mind, but focuses more on enjoying her life rather than nurturing her home, her friends, her family and herself. Having said that, she's a very caring person and is called "fun" by everyone who knows her. She's not afraid to hug a person or to help out. And, while she's not at all a selfish person, she definitely thinks about how her decisions and those of others will affect her and has a healthy sense of self. She's definitely not going to eat something fattening just to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
The thing about Jill is that she has a knockout figure. Very athletic looking and not at all frail, but her legs and waist are slender while still having plenty of curves. Although it would appear that she is "naturally thin," the truth as she tells it is that she works at it every day. Her life is a picture of constant balance and restraint. She's a planner, she says, and will think ahead about what she'll eat all week at work, when she has client meetings over lunch, what her plan is for exercise after work and what they are doing on the weekends. She'll pick up what she needs at the grocery store. It's not a laborious process, just a natural part of her thoughts.
When Jill wakes up, she's often not at all hungry and will eat a bowl of healthy cereal with skim milk simply because she must "for her health." Her primary focus for most of her daytime hours isn't food, but rather beverages such as coffee or tea with fat-free milk. She has purposefully chosen those beverages because they cut her appetite, she says.
Her food during the day is largely limited to a thin sandwich, a granola bar of some sort and a banana. "I can go for long periods without eating," she says. "And I don't have two meals a day." Which brings us to dinner. If Jill had lunch with a client at a restaurant, she won't deprive herself really. She'll eat a salad or a sandwich without fishing half of her ingredients (such as cheese or the bun) off the plate. She'll just quietly eat slowly until she's full and then stop. She won't have soup and a sandwich unless they offer 1/2 portion. There's no dessert, and she's not about to eat a plate of fries on the side.
When she does have that lunch out with a client, then for dinner she might have a yogurt or a small bowl of cereal, and nothing more.
She works out two to three times a week, and it's usually 30 minutes of cardio. Jill's not a superathlete who is busting herself in a full-out workout. It's just a consistent 30 minutes at a good rate. She might lift a few weights as well. There are times when she'll only go to the gym once a week, but rarely does she show up four times a week. She also is active in the sense that she likes to go out dancing with her husband or friends and is happy to do anything that's mildly active, but she's not a superathlete who will do several triathlons a year. She doesn't run, doesn't really hike and only occasionally rides a bike outdoors. Yet, if she can't get to the gym, she'll get a little troubled.
Jill attributes her thin figure to the fact that her behaviors are consistently more healthy than not healthy. "I have consistently worked out for 10 years," she said. She only eats one "meal" a day, the rest being small snacks. And she knows her weak spots and plans for them.
"The only time I have a craving is when I get home at 5;30. I want to eat right away. The problem is that I don't eat much during the day, so if I have something in the house for the kids, like Cheese Its, then I'll grab a handful and munch on them while I cook dinner for the kids." But, unlike fat people, Jill wouldn't think of eating the entire box. "I might grab two or three handfuls, which ends up being two or three portions. So I'm careful to eat just one handful."
She also likes a bit of sweet every day, but she chooses to add honey to some warm milk at night or to have a cup of sugar-free fat-free international coffee. Sometimes she'll have a bowl of ice cream on Sunday nights. In fact, weekends are the only time she really lets herself slack a bit. She limits alcohol to weekends as well as larger family meals, usually just dinner.
Other pitfalls just aren't her problem. Although her children live on chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, cheese pizza and the like, she doesn't (and wouldn't) ever eat that. And if anything is left on their plate, she wouldn't think of eating it. "I don't like to touch other people's food."
Jill said she wasn't always healthy. "When I look at photos of me in my 20s, I think I looked heavy. At that time, I didn't work out, I couldn't tell you how much fat or carbs was in anything. I smoked and drank all the time."
Her current lifestyle is predictable and easy to maintain, Jill says. And she prefers it that way. "I'm conscious of maintaining that balance."
This week, I learned a lot from the woman I'm going to call Jill. She's a busy mom and career woman. She has a very quick mind, but focuses more on enjoying her life rather than nurturing her home, her friends, her family and herself. Having said that, she's a very caring person and is called "fun" by everyone who knows her. She's not afraid to hug a person or to help out. And, while she's not at all a selfish person, she definitely thinks about how her decisions and those of others will affect her and has a healthy sense of self. She's definitely not going to eat something fattening just to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
The thing about Jill is that she has a knockout figure. Very athletic looking and not at all frail, but her legs and waist are slender while still having plenty of curves. Although it would appear that she is "naturally thin," the truth as she tells it is that she works at it every day. Her life is a picture of constant balance and restraint. She's a planner, she says, and will think ahead about what she'll eat all week at work, when she has client meetings over lunch, what her plan is for exercise after work and what they are doing on the weekends. She'll pick up what she needs at the grocery store. It's not a laborious process, just a natural part of her thoughts.
When Jill wakes up, she's often not at all hungry and will eat a bowl of healthy cereal with skim milk simply because she must "for her health." Her primary focus for most of her daytime hours isn't food, but rather beverages such as coffee or tea with fat-free milk. She has purposefully chosen those beverages because they cut her appetite, she says.
Her food during the day is largely limited to a thin sandwich, a granola bar of some sort and a banana. "I can go for long periods without eating," she says. "And I don't have two meals a day." Which brings us to dinner. If Jill had lunch with a client at a restaurant, she won't deprive herself really. She'll eat a salad or a sandwich without fishing half of her ingredients (such as cheese or the bun) off the plate. She'll just quietly eat slowly until she's full and then stop. She won't have soup and a sandwich unless they offer 1/2 portion. There's no dessert, and she's not about to eat a plate of fries on the side.
When she does have that lunch out with a client, then for dinner she might have a yogurt or a small bowl of cereal, and nothing more.
She works out two to three times a week, and it's usually 30 minutes of cardio. Jill's not a superathlete who is busting herself in a full-out workout. It's just a consistent 30 minutes at a good rate. She might lift a few weights as well. There are times when she'll only go to the gym once a week, but rarely does she show up four times a week. She also is active in the sense that she likes to go out dancing with her husband or friends and is happy to do anything that's mildly active, but she's not a superathlete who will do several triathlons a year. She doesn't run, doesn't really hike and only occasionally rides a bike outdoors. Yet, if she can't get to the gym, she'll get a little troubled.
Jill attributes her thin figure to the fact that her behaviors are consistently more healthy than not healthy. "I have consistently worked out for 10 years," she said. She only eats one "meal" a day, the rest being small snacks. And she knows her weak spots and plans for them.
"The only time I have a craving is when I get home at 5;30. I want to eat right away. The problem is that I don't eat much during the day, so if I have something in the house for the kids, like Cheese Its, then I'll grab a handful and munch on them while I cook dinner for the kids." But, unlike fat people, Jill wouldn't think of eating the entire box. "I might grab two or three handfuls, which ends up being two or three portions. So I'm careful to eat just one handful."
She also likes a bit of sweet every day, but she chooses to add honey to some warm milk at night or to have a cup of sugar-free fat-free international coffee. Sometimes she'll have a bowl of ice cream on Sunday nights. In fact, weekends are the only time she really lets herself slack a bit. She limits alcohol to weekends as well as larger family meals, usually just dinner.
Other pitfalls just aren't her problem. Although her children live on chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, cheese pizza and the like, she doesn't (and wouldn't) ever eat that. And if anything is left on their plate, she wouldn't think of eating it. "I don't like to touch other people's food."
Jill said she wasn't always healthy. "When I look at photos of me in my 20s, I think I looked heavy. At that time, I didn't work out, I couldn't tell you how much fat or carbs was in anything. I smoked and drank all the time."
Her current lifestyle is predictable and easy to maintain, Jill says. And she prefers it that way. "I'm conscious of maintaining that balance."
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
What Thin People Think
Yay! I'm down 2 pounds. I weighed in two days early and I'm already down 2 pounds. That's without really kicking in the exercise. It just shows what watching what you eat can do. I'm still not quite where I want to be, but a big part of that process has been started.
As some of you know, I'm not just a blog writer, but a writer in real life (as opposed to Internet life). I've recently decided to put my skills to work to help me get on top of this issue. I'm going to start interviewing Thin People because I think they live so much more differently when it comes to making choices than I do. Case in point: read Ann's comments from one entry ago. She counts calories every day, not just right after she had a baby and has been doing so since she's about 12. She also can't imagine eating in a supermarket as she shops or eating a full meal when she's already full. She just doesn't think like fat people.
I have a client who works with businesses and executives to create better communication and interpersonal skills, not to mention sales skills, and she has said to me repeatedly that it's not about what those people do that affects their behavior, it's about what they think. It's your thinking that creates your behavior. So, I'm going to mine the minds of Thin People and see what they think about and how they think about themselves and food.
If you know any thin people whom I should interview, let me know by email. I'll keep all names confidential, unless they prefer that I don't, and will post my results here. I'm also looking for previously fat people to interview who are now Thin People, to see what they noticed changing.
As some of you know, I'm not just a blog writer, but a writer in real life (as opposed to Internet life). I've recently decided to put my skills to work to help me get on top of this issue. I'm going to start interviewing Thin People because I think they live so much more differently when it comes to making choices than I do. Case in point: read Ann's comments from one entry ago. She counts calories every day, not just right after she had a baby and has been doing so since she's about 12. She also can't imagine eating in a supermarket as she shops or eating a full meal when she's already full. She just doesn't think like fat people.
I have a client who works with businesses and executives to create better communication and interpersonal skills, not to mention sales skills, and she has said to me repeatedly that it's not about what those people do that affects their behavior, it's about what they think. It's your thinking that creates your behavior. So, I'm going to mine the minds of Thin People and see what they think about and how they think about themselves and food.
If you know any thin people whom I should interview, let me know by email. I'll keep all names confidential, unless they prefer that I don't, and will post my results here. I'm also looking for previously fat people to interview who are now Thin People, to see what they noticed changing.
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