A great cook who's also a Skinny Chick says her workout is at home.

Skinny Chick No. 2 is someone I knew a long time ago when I was in college. I haven't spoken to her in more than a decade, but I just discovered she's a friend of a friend who hooked us up. I'm delighted to get reacquainted and share Amy's story because she's always struck me as a very sensible, elegant woman, far beyond her years (she's 34 now and I'm 47, and I think she is still more balanced than I).

Amy, now married to a physician and living in another state with their two young daughters, has really never had much of a weight problem. She's also a terrific home cook and baker who can be hired to make "down home" desserts for others, whether it's a white cake with butter cream frosting for a birthday party or treats for a child's classroom. Amy developed her love of cooking and baking in England where she attended graduate school. Although antiques and art were the focus of her career goals of working in an auction house, making food was her delightful hobby. "For me, learning how to cook and bake was a stress reliever."

When she married her husband 10 years ago, he had two sons age 10 and 12 who would only eat hot dogs and drink pop. They thought they were allergic to other foods (or just wouldn't eat them). But Amy, who says she's "a tough love kind of person," cooked regular meals and expected them to try everything. And they did. And they now will eat anything. She raises her daughters, ages 5 and 6, the same way, and they'll eat anything from calamari to cauliflower. Every night, she cooks a real meal of protein, starch, vegetable and fruit for dinner. A typical meal is breaded pork chops, roasted broccoli, pasta side dish and fruit salad. The night before our interview she made pasta with meat sauce, a vegetable salad and jello and fruit salad. She also manages to eat dessert every day. "I have a sweet tooth," she confesses. Amy's skinny chick philosophy is that you shouldn't agonize over what you eat too much or you'll get into trouble.

So, this isn't a story about a woman who watches every morsel that goes into her mouth and spends an hour in the gym several times a week. Amy doesn't deny herself anything, and she doesn't waste her time feeling guilty. If she eats a cupcake for a snack, or even two in one day, she doesn't worry about it. Her thoughts are on enjoying what she's eating, and then she moves on. (I'm acknowledging here that when you are losing weight, two cupcakes might be difficult to balance into a loss for most of us.)

Having said that, this doesn't mean that Amy's thoughts are the same as a Fat Chick's who might be thinking, "I can eat this, and I can eat that" with the sound of furious gobbling and gulping as accompaniment. The key difference with Amy is her lack of Guilt. She's not embarrassed and she's not wishing she could take it back (or get it out). She's not hiding it from others or thinking about hiding it from others. She's also thinking about how much she enjoys the flavor and taste of the food rather than simply the act of eating. Do you get that? It means eating isn't just busy work for Amy. It's about enjoying the flavors and the taste. And the eating of the food isn't immediately forgotten. She's mentally balancing her consumption for the day as well as the week at the time she's thinking about what to eat.

Amy eats when she's hungry and she eats what makes sense to her given what she'll be eating later in the day, what she likes and what's healthy. The difference is that she knows her body and knows what she likes and then takes both into account. Amy relishes her food. Take her breakfast, for example. Except on special occasions, every day for breakfast for the past five years, she has two pieces of whole grain toast—one with peanut butter and honey and the other with peanut butter and jelly—and coffee with cream and sugar. She just loves that meal. "I look forward to breakfast because it's one of my favorite meals," she said. "I really like that toast in the morning."

Morning is her hungry time. She has breakfast between 6:30 and 7:30, but will eat a few more small meals until about 1 p.m.,  but it's always something she likes. It could be leftover slices of apple from one of her daughters, some leftovers from the night before or even a sandwich if she knows her lunch is going to be light because of an activity at that time. But she's always calculating how it fits into her day. For example, if she's going to make a favorite dish of hers for dinner, she's going to eat a little less for lunch so that she's good and hungry for that dinner. "I'm going to make sure I can really enjoy the food." That's in huge contrast to me, who will eat what she likes and doesn't plan ahead. Or rarely even plans ahead. And washes it all down with a huge gulp of guilt. Amy knows in advance what she'll be eating for dinner or lunch. She often takes food out of the freezer the night before to prepare, or she'll shop for something that sounds good to her in the afternoon. The key difference is that she's not eating to eat, she's eating for real pleasure. She's choosing foods she likes, that are healthy and that satisfy her hunger. "For me, food is a wonderful pleasure," she says. "I just don't make it an everyday issue."

That's a major thing with Skinny Chicks. They develop a routine so that they don't have to think about eating from minute to minute. They know how much food to put on their plate to fit the right amount of calories. (Amy plates her food in the kitchen, rather than serving family style because it reduces dishes. I serve family style, probably in case I want a second or third helping.)  They know their bodies and what they will need to eat and when. Their eating becomes regulated because they are thinking about what their body is doing and what it likes and how it maintains what they are doing. Their metabolism isn't confused by the irregular habits. There's no need for starvation mode because they aren't ever starving. How many of you have no idea what the amount of food is that will help you maintain your weight? I know that I don't know. My food life is different day-to-day.

Now on to exercise—and this is the fun part. Amy, who has been at home with her kids, really does work at home. It's her first focus—not food! She cleans her own house, irons her own clothes and spends 3 to 4 hours in the kitchen every night cooking and then cleaning up every night. And she considers it a workout. "In thinking about the friends I have, they are part of a gym, but they still seem to have a lot of struggles with maintaining their weight. I think they are thinking about it too much and focusing on it too much. They don't do enough around their house." Amy says she's up and down her stairs many times a day (she knows some people who are never upstairs until bed time). She vacuums her busy areas at least once a day. She never watches daytime television and actually has a spring (and probably fall) cleaning schedule. She's at home, working on her house most of the day. If she does have an errand over the lunch hour, she throws a cut up apple, some nuts and a can of V-8 juice in her bag. At night, she will occasionally do her ironing (at the time of our interview, she had an hour and a half of linen ironing from two recent parties she hosted, which she planned to do that evening after the girls were in bed). Basically, she's going from morning until night. Her home and her life are tightly organized ships, and it shows.

I recently read about a study in which two groups of hotel housekeepers were tested in terms of exercise and fitness. Then, one group was told to just keep doing everything the same as always, and the other was told to think about the workout they are getting while they cleaned, to really focus on how their muscles were working to get the job done. After just two weeks, the women who were thinking about all they were doing had noticeable weight loss and muscle improvement. This was in a book about how your mind can really improve the benefits of what you do if you are conscious about it. 

I do a great job cleaning on Saturdays, but I do very little other than make dinner during the week. After our conversation, I've resolved to get up from my computer every hour and do 15 minutes of cleaning, whether it's dusting, vacuuming or dishwashing. I might even wash my floors during the week on this plan or scrub a tub or shower. I'm also going to think about the workout. Fun!

At 5'7" and 143 pounds and a six 6 or 8, Amy says she's at the perfect weight for her. "I wouldn't mind being 135, but I don't want to work at being 135. I don't want to give up eating what I eat," Amy says. Part of the problem, she says, is that she watches her friends who strive to be much thinner than their comfortable weight and end up being much heavier because it weighs on their minds. Right now, she's able to think, when her body tells her she needs to eat, "what do I want to eat," not "what should I eat to stay thin." After all, it must be comforting to know she's going to eat dessert every day. That way, she never has to binge on 10 cupcakes or eat half a cake in one sitting.

"You can lose weight any way you want," she says. "You can go on a chocolate diet (just eating 1,200 calories of chocolate a day). So I don't think people should ever eliminate foods from their diet. That's not realistic." For Amy, thinking about what you like, then eating it in moderation and without guilt is much healthier, and it works great for her.